Outside reading blog #4

Claire's death is an unmendable blow to Astrid and as she is being driven to the MacLaren Children's Center from Claire's glamorous "Hollywood bungalow", she watches the house get smaller and concludes to herself that she "[...] didn't give a damn what happened to [her] now" (296). Claire had been the only reason Astrid had tried so hard to improve herself both at school and as a person--she had been the only reason to live. But now that Claire was gone, nothing in life mattered anymore. If it was too hot, instead of opening a window, Astrid thought, "Claire was dead. Who cared if it was too hot" (297). Now that she was at the childrens' foster center, Astrid is pulled back into bitter reality of bad dreams and rejection.

However, at the Children's Center, Astrid discovers an intimate friend, Paul Trout. Paul, just like Astrid, has a passion for art and this similarity between them is what pulls them closer together. Unlike the other boys at the center, who see Astrid through greedy hostile eyes, Paul's attention for Astrid is through an artist's point of view. But just like she loses everyone else she becomes close with, Paul is soon assigned to a group home in Pomona. Astrid realizes, "Paul Trout was the only person I'd met there I could talk to [...] We were just getting to know each other, and now he was gone. I had to get used to that. Everybody left you eventually" (303). Next for Astrid was a new home with Rena Grushenka, an impaitient skinny brunette in high heels, sliver earrings, and a sweater that fell off one shoulder. Rena has no real feelings for Astrid and even offeres her a cigarette on the drive home. At the new foster home, Astrid shares her room with a pregnant young woman named Yvonne who is all chinese paper horses, torn out magasnes, and pictures of a young TV actors in a two-dollar frames. Yvonne's greets Astrid, "Don't touch my stuff or I'll kill you" (310). Another girl, Niki, is a magenta haired girl who is all about chrome and black leather. Astrid's relationship with these girls is mutual acceptance. However, the hardest event taht Astrid must get over during her stay at Rena's is Astrid's discovery that Rena had been selling all her precious clothing from Barneys New York, Marc Jacobs, Fred Segal etc. that Claire had bought for her. The hardest part of letting go of these clothing is that they are the few remenants that help bring back the memory of Claire from the past. However, Astrid learns practicality here. Rena tell her, "You want car? Artist college? How you think you pay? So this dress. Pretty dress. Someone gave. But money is...Money" (325). Rena's simple thinking with money influences Astrid and the longer she stays with her and the rest of the women, Astrid becomes just as money-wise and careful as Rena was.