Ouater 1 for me...

Reminiscing on my overall experience on Quarter 1 for Enriched English 10, I learned many tools to help improve my writing, analyzing, and organization skills. Since I was new to the school, it was difficult in the beginning of the quarter for me to balance my school work with making new friends. Facebook, the telephone, myspace, AIM, and other socializing devices were my main distractions that really marred my time management. I now found a great group of friends and will be able to focus on my academics for Quarter 2 more intensively. Specifically for my English 10 class, my first impression of my teacher, Ms. Froelich was of intimidation and that this was one teacher NOT to mess with. However, I learned that all she asked for was perseverance, participation and effort and she gladly returned the respect. As for academics, compared to the beginning of the year, my process of analyzing a piece of literature has improved with practice and with it, I am able to write better analytical essays. It was a big blow for me to get a "C+" on my Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Essay because I was so used to receiving an "A" for my English assignments. This helped me realize how much more practice I needed. But with more preparation and planning, my analytical paragraph on the movie, The 400 Blows, received full credit. This boosted my self-confidence and assured me that with a little effort, I could easily improve on skills that I lacked. I am far from perfect however, and the new research paper assignment is the perfect practice I need to hone my writing skills for the beginning of Quarter 2. In order to improve the atmosphere of our classroom, I could participate more during discussions and retain from side conversations. My main goals for Quarter 2 is to bring my overall grade up to an A and to do so, polish my analyzing, writing, and time management.

Outside reading blog #4

Claire's death is an unmendable blow to Astrid and as she is being driven to the MacLaren Children's Center from Claire's glamorous "Hollywood bungalow", she watches the house get smaller and concludes to herself that she "[...] didn't give a damn what happened to [her] now" (296). Claire had been the only reason Astrid had tried so hard to improve herself both at school and as a person--she had been the only reason to live. But now that Claire was gone, nothing in life mattered anymore. If it was too hot, instead of opening a window, Astrid thought, "Claire was dead. Who cared if it was too hot" (297). Now that she was at the childrens' foster center, Astrid is pulled back into bitter reality of bad dreams and rejection.

However, at the Children's Center, Astrid discovers an intimate friend, Paul Trout. Paul, just like Astrid, has a passion for art and this similarity between them is what pulls them closer together. Unlike the other boys at the center, who see Astrid through greedy hostile eyes, Paul's attention for Astrid is through an artist's point of view. But just like she loses everyone else she becomes close with, Paul is soon assigned to a group home in Pomona. Astrid realizes, "Paul Trout was the only person I'd met there I could talk to [...] We were just getting to know each other, and now he was gone. I had to get used to that. Everybody left you eventually" (303). Next for Astrid was a new home with Rena Grushenka, an impaitient skinny brunette in high heels, sliver earrings, and a sweater that fell off one shoulder. Rena has no real feelings for Astrid and even offeres her a cigarette on the drive home. At the new foster home, Astrid shares her room with a pregnant young woman named Yvonne who is all chinese paper horses, torn out magasnes, and pictures of a young TV actors in a two-dollar frames. Yvonne's greets Astrid, "Don't touch my stuff or I'll kill you" (310). Another girl, Niki, is a magenta haired girl who is all about chrome and black leather. Astrid's relationship with these girls is mutual acceptance. However, the hardest event taht Astrid must get over during her stay at Rena's is Astrid's discovery that Rena had been selling all her precious clothing from Barneys New York, Marc Jacobs, Fred Segal etc. that Claire had bought for her. The hardest part of letting go of these clothing is that they are the few remenants that help bring back the memory of Claire from the past. However, Astrid learns practicality here. Rena tell her, "You want car? Artist college? How you think you pay? So this dress. Pretty dress. Someone gave. But money is...Money" (325). Rena's simple thinking with money influences Astrid and the longer she stays with her and the rest of the women, Astrid becomes just as money-wise and careful as Rena was.

Outside reading blog #6

When asked to testify in defense for her mother in court, Astrid decides to make a deal with her mother. If Astrid testifies for her mother in court, Ingrid in turn must tell the whole truth about Astrid's past such as information on her father, her childhood, and how often Ingrid had deserted her daughter. Through this heartfelt conversation between mother and daughter, Ingrid realizes the pain she had put upon her daughter. Ingrid softly whispers to Astrid, "If I could take it all back, I would, Astrid. You've got to believe me." And in response to that, Astrid says to her mother, "Then tell me you don't want me to testify. Tell me you don't want me like this. Tell me you would sacrifice the rest of your life to have me back the way I was." This was the only way Astrid could truly be free of her mother and continue with life as an individual. Eventually, Ingrid, for the first time in her life, thinks about not her own welfare, but the welfare and future of her daughter and decides to live the rest of her life in prison to save her daughter from ruin. Astrid gets a second chance at life.

Once Astrid turns 18, she meets up with her good friend Paul Trout and they move in together in a fourth-story flat in Berlin. The couple passed time with never ceasing art projects, art classes, art shows--anything involving art. Here, one of Astrid's greatest art pieces is a set of decorated suitcases. Each suitcase represents each one of the foster homes she had been to and her memories from them. Through these suitcases, all the people that passed through her life, Starr, Marvel, Yvonne, Niki, Rena, Claire, her mother, Ray and everyone else became re-existent in her memories again.

Outside reading blog #5

In Rena's house, Yvonne, her roommate becomes Astrid's closeest companion. They share secrets and stories late into the night and becomes friends. Astrid takes care of Yvonne in times of need such as when she is in labor and when she has bad dreams. The biggest transformation for Astrid is when she decides to find her mother's letters, reads them, and realizes that her mother had deceptively been molding Astrid to become exactly like her. But Astrid refuses to conform to what her mother wants her to become and decides to rebel against her control. She writes a poem to her mother expressing that now, Astrid Magnussen was finally alone. Astrid happily thinks, "How clear it was without my mother behind my eyes. I was reborn, a Siamese twin who had finally been separated from its hated, cumbersome double." She was finally able to separate from her mother and think for herself without the oppressive influence of her mother.

Astrid not only experiments with her self-identity but also with more hazardous substances like acid, beer and other illegal matters. The main reason for this is to escape her depression. Just like she used to take overdoses on Percodan to make herself feel numb against any major emotions, she is drinking alcohol and doing drugs now for the same reasons. When she is doing acid, she thinks to herself, "If I was going to do it, I wanted to make sure I'd get off" (373). However, by this time, it is so close to graduation and finally turning 18 that Astrid limits herself in no way. Now, a memory with Claire is not unbearably painful but instead, is now a reminescence of the old glorious days. Just another memory. Now, there is truely no particular person in her life that she considers a reason to live for. The only thing that propels her forward is the hope that soon, she will be in control of her own life without the bother of being kicked around from one foster home to another. Finally, Astrid will be her own master. In total, Astrid has been through six foster family homes, each one a bittersweet experience as well as a short stay at MacLaren Children's Hall. Indeed each of these homes had negative impacts on Astrid such as getting shot, being treated as a servant, or losing someone very close to you, but all of these expreiences, both good and bad was what formed Astrid as an individual and was inspiration for her art pieces.